Websters defines empathy as “the projection of one’s own personality into the personality of another in order to understand the person better; ability to share in another’s emotions, thoughts, or feelings.” How can we care unless we exhibit a little bit of empathy? One thing Wendy and I have learned through the loss of our Hudson Stone is the need for empathy in showing care and concern for those who are hurting.
John MacArthur, in Safe in the Arms of God, reports that statistics show that 25% of all conceptions end prematurely by the 20th week, where we were when we lost Hudson. Of those 75% end in the first twelve weeks (4). The statistics in themselves are not comforting although it does show a family that they do not sit alone. There are others who have walked through this “valley of the shadow of death.” Yet it still hurts.
What we’ve learned really brings shame to us and a challenge for the future ministry God gives us. Over our years together, Wendy and I have known several people who have gone through the same situation, but our response was much less than it could have been. Oh, how I wish we would have been more persistent and faithful to minister in those situations further than one phone call or a hug and an “I’m sorry.” Sometimes it takes a shoulder, an ear, an hour, or more. But it definitely involves you/me/us. It involves a little empathy to care, to listen, to love, to help in bearing the burden of hurting people who need the love of Christ poured into their lives. The need demands it.
Don’t get me wrong. We have had great support from family and friends who call, email, talk, pray, and sit with us in the late hours of the night. They have laughed and cried with us. They have encouraged us through this time. This is not a complaint, but a reminder and a challenge to my family and to others. Don’t be afraid to show a little empathy and get involved intimately and persistently with the grieving process.
JB
